Hamilton Island – Heaven or Hell?

Tags

$$$$, Alex Perry, Awards, Beach, BEST Practice, Bikini, Boating, Darwin, Hamilton Island, Kayaking

I have just returned from Hamilton Island off the Coast of Queensland, Australia and I have to say that the place is so good that it should be dragged over to Western Australia where all the good things in life come from.

In saying this. The place is so good that injecting someone like me onto it’s shores is a potential recipe for disaster.

We arrived to be greeted by a beautiful sunny day and wandered across the tarmac to collect our bags in what can only be described as a 1970’s style baggage carousel. We were lined up at the start line then the gun went off to initiate a ‘free for all’ collection process where you fought tooth and nail to retrieve your belongings straight off the back of the baggage trolleys, stacked 5 high. Some people’s holidays finished right here where they were trampled in the fray or buried under a pile of overweight bags when some impatient idiot decided they could not wait for theirs which was at the bottom. Patience not being the virtue of the Aussie traveller….when you need a beer you need it fast!

Made of sterner stuff I emerged from the melee to hand my trusty travelling companion her bag as she sipped on a cool water by the bus and reminded me that we had a romatic sunset paddle to attend and i’d best hurry up if I didnt want to miss it?

Romantic she said…..well you should have bought your husband I said, fun she said…..well you should have got a motor on the kayak I said, relaxing she said….well you should try to dip your paddle in the water I said! Here is a picture of her having a great time…..here is a picture of me dying after paddling her all the way….and we still have to go back! I’m not a machine!

So I had 5 glasses of Champagne, watched the Sunset and things got decidedly better.

Day 2 started off on the right foot however for me….Ilyse had to stand up in front of her peers and deliver a presentation. She was beside herself. I was having a great time reminding her that these were the members of BEST Practice….the best of the best and she better not make a fool of herself!

I needn’t have worried. I didn’t actually. You can tell that the guy in the second picture of the shot above on the right hand side thought that Ilyse nailed it?

Anyways….that over, Ilyse relaxed….it was time for a bit of a decompress so we set out on a boat trip. More Sunsets.

I am not sure what the hell Michael Dobbin was doing here however he clearly likes his business partners?

Boat Trip over and half a dozen beers later there may have been an incident with the golf cart where someone received a very firm scolding from an over zealous but responsible public citizen for his erratic driving. I succinctly explained that there was nothing to see here and he should move on…..then on with the party….where I met up with Alex Perry – ‘Should have gone to Specsavers’. I think he was impressed by my ensamble for the formal function where I was dressed in shorts, t-shirt, thongs and a leather jacket?

I work on the theory that ‘look like you own it and people think you do’

By this time I was getting tired from all my studying and learning so I went to the Beach to recuperate.

Yep it was tough…..Heaven or Hell…..your call! Suffice to say that Darwin is 2nd best by comparison.

It’s a Soiree

Tags

$$$$, 30's, Crazy, Darwin, Fashion, Food, Gatsby, Glamour, Party

Well I have been waiting to be invited to one of these for years! It just sounds so decadent! This one was a themed set in the 30’s Gatsby era…..and it lived up to all the expectations I had for an event of this Title

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This one was a 60th birthday….however I can assure you that the birthday boy is anything but a typical 60 year old! The fact that my present to him was a ‘home made ‘Energiser Bunny’ should be an indication of his character. He is off overseas in the next week or so to represent Australia in the World Dragon Boat Championships…..enough said!

So I set about getting ready for this event by taking a selfie (Cause Gatsby had an I Phone?) in my cupboard…..where else would you take it?

Thinking that it was polite I arrived 10 minutes late…..to find that we were the first through the door and that the host was still upstairs getting prepped. So that gave me some time to have a look about the place and believe me it is some place he has. Now I know where the hell all my Accounting fees are going! Not bad when you have your own jetty I reckon.

 

In typical fashion before I had even finished my first beer I had it tipped over me and the night was started! In rocked all sorts of shady looking characters in true gangster style. There were slappers….I mean flappers all over the place and the alcohol soon lubricated conversations so that one felt they were transported into an era of prohibition and the decadence I had expected from the outset.

The who’s who of Darwin were there…..and me too!

Yeah I like to hug everyone….it looks like I am important? Then the speeches started and we were introduced to Mal’s family. Turns out he is a rabbit! Have a look at the No of offspring! Go Boy!!

The guy with the beard at the end entertained us with a conspiracy theory like no other that I have ever heard and I can only imagine that the clean living traits which Mal has lived throughout his life were not necessarily inheritted by all his kids? What year did LSD come into fashion? Anyways they got him a great gift…..a paddle board!

All I could think was ‘What the hell would you want one of them for?’ However Mal clearly lives by the motto ‘Carpe Diem’ and proceeded to kick off his shoes and do a lap of the marina immediately. Which is a good thing that the water police were not on patrol as he would have knocked their breathaliser out of action for a month!

He returned from his paddle without a drop on him and I declared ‘Right! That’s it! I’ve seen enough!’

So I had another 12 Carona’s and went home….The End